Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Why X=Cynic


What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That's what we learned of Shakespeare in high school.

Still, I’m not crazy about the name Gen X. The name was OK back when I thought it sounded kind of mysterious. You know, Zorro, the masked rebel hero had his Z; we, the teenagers who had big hair, have our X . . . kind of different and intriguing. When I realized we have an X because no one could think of anything better, the name lost its adventure. Then I encountered other names we’ve been called based on how older generations have seen us: the whiny generation, the tuned-out generation, the numb generation, the generation of gripers, the generation adrift, the Busters, slackers. Maybe our particular rose smells a little sweeter with the name “Generation X.”

Speaking of Shakespeare’s writings, during Gen X’s childhood, a writer who likely affected our upbringings topped Shakespeare on the American best-seller list in 1976. Pediatrician/professor, Dr. Benjamin Spock, who had been embraced as he told parents in the 1950s to trust their instincts by openly loving their children found himself on trial in 1968 in official courts for conspiracy of counseling young people to avoid the draft and in the court of public opinion for somehow having undermined patriotism by encouraging permissive parenting. In 1976, when his American book sales were surpassed only by the Bible, he wrote that his previous books had been sexist and that fathers actually should participate in parenting.

The way Gen X (born between 1965 and 1981) was raised was reflected in other names we were given over the years: The Latch-Key Generation and the MTV Generation. Many of us were raised by single parents, divorced parents, or two-parent working families, which meant that, for a chunk of our childhoods, many of us lacked quality time with parents. Preschools and daycares hadn’t really come on the scene. Adults in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s seemed to be preoccupied with matters other than children: the Vietnam War, jobs, marriages, politics, the price of gas, telephone conversations, protests, soap operas, bills. We were sent to school or told to play outside while our adults tried to move up in the world, do better than the neighbors, find themselves, put food on the table, or do something they enjoyed for a change. Frankly, many Gen Xers more or less raised ourselves and each other. And we didn’t leave our teenage years looking like we’d particularly done a stellar job, which is no surprise. If you’ve ever read The Lord of the Flies, which American generations since the Boomers probably had to read at some point, you know that little good can come of children being left to fend for themselves.

We weren’t exactly alone. We had babysitters. We had 80's pop culture that grew into the 90s. We watched lots of television with reruns, commercials, and some cartoons. Many of us, at some point, lived with or visited people with cable TV that brought us HBO and MTV. Plus many of us either owned or knew someone who might let us play their Atari or Nintendo game systems. And eventually we grew old enough to become the babysitters, old enough to move from bicycles with banana seats to old cars our parents let us drive or that we paid for ourselves. 

From teachers, we heard that we didn’t meet up to standards set by the older crowd we knew as hippies or Mom and Dad (depending on the age of our parents) who cared about society, who wanted to make things better, who had a bigger sense of their world than what they saw in movies. We were told to vote, to be more involved, to care more . . . but we didn’t understand why we should care for a society that didn’t seem to care about us.

Around the time of Whitney Houston’s hit recording of the “The Greatest Love of All,” in 1986 and Hirsch’s Dictionary of Cultural Literacy in 1987, America looked at those of us trying to imitate drugged-up hair bands, and realized that society may have just lost out on the opportunity to effectively guide a generation of children. America started trying to figure out how to change, to make things better for the next generation.

In 1999 Movie Fight Club (a movie I haven’t actually seen), character Tyler Durden apparently tries to explain how Gen X felt stepping into young adulthood, “Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War . . . our depression is our lives . . . we were raised on television to believe we’d all be millionaires, movie gods, rock stars, but we won’t. And we’re starting to figure that out. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

In Virtual Faith: The Irreverent Spiritual Quest of Generation X, Tom Beudoin cites Rob Nelson and Jon Cowan’s list of 100 harshest facts for Generation X in which the following trends were noted as greeting Gen Xers in young adulthood: “a decline of real wages . . . and an increase in the length of the average workweek; an increase in young adult poverty and a concomitant decline of real income; the devastation of AIDS . . . ; the continued socioeconomic crises of many minority communities, particularly of young African American men; continuing crises of divorce and suicide; overqualification of college graduates for available jobs; unacceptable levels of violence in schools and neighborhoods; a steady drumbeat of drug abuse; and a high percentage of young adults without health insurance.”

Do we sound like whiners? Yes, I think we likely do from the perspective of other generations who had big trials such as the Great Depression, World Wars, Vietnam, etc. But our experiences are our experiences. The way a generation is raised affects the way it approaches life. And we are living as Generation X, whatever that means, and up to this point, we have been a cynical bunch.

So yes, we can be sarcastic, non-participating naysayers who throw movie quotes and song lyrics around, but I like us, and I hope to show you our good side another day. I also hope to look a bit at the generations we stemmed from so as not to have you believe I’m promoting discontent between parents, children, and grandchildren. In fact, I'd wager that most of us GenXers are actually much more pleasant and loving than descriptions of our generation depict . . . in spite of that cynical-something inside us. 

Question: Gen Xers . . . are you just going to lurk out there, reading this, and say nothing to defend us? Or perhaps you can add more insight into our common psyches?


This blog post is part of a series of writing (April 3-May 14, 2011) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about Generation X facing midlife.   tbergland.blogspot.com

5 comments:

  1. I hate to leave my favorite blogger floating around in cyberspace all alone, so I’ll break the ice in the comments section.
    I’m a GenXer. We ARE a generation of cynics. That’s not a bad thing. We grew up without the promise of “happily ever after” as divorce rates climbed. We found the panaceas of previous generations (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and even sex) were killing us. We trudged through adolescence to the drum beat of “Just say ‘No’”. Cynicism is built into our psyches.
    The quote I hear most regularly from fellow GenXers, “It is what it is,” seems to sum us up. So what! We are still in the trenches, doing what must be done. We are falling in love. We are raising our children. We are caring for our aging parents. We are volunteering in our communities. We are working toward a greener future. Society needs a generation of cynics. It's okay to be a generation that asks the hard questions, a generation that doesn’t believe everything we are told, a generation who has given up on a magic pill to make us better. We may have to fight harder to find something to believe in, but when we get there it's a wonderful thing.

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  2. Ahhh . . . another pragmatic optimist! Perhaps, as we analyze matters at the midlife point, we could reevaluate our world and perspectives and become more hopeful? I hope. Hey, all . . . what's the Gen X forecast?

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  3. Two things - First to answer the question about cynicism - yes, I think we are. When I was studying Gen X several years ago I came across the concept that while we did not understand issues like Watergate and Vietnam, because adults were talking about them, we learned to distrust authority. I also remember my friend's dad losing his job through lay-offs after 20 years at a company, and then hearing that my generation doesn't have any loyalty to their employers? Well, why should we when the events our parents prove we employers won't be loyal to us? And of course these things still continue today as politicians change their views depending on who is listening, and fired exec's get million dollar golden parachutes while rank and file struggle to get by.

    Second, I read Beudain's book as part of my research and didn't really relate to it. I think I am either of the wrong socio-economic group or I'm just a little too old. Or may both. I liked "The New Faithful" much better as it seemed to be geared more to my own peer group, although we may be a minority within Gen Xers.

    Second,

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  4. Very interesting observation . . . about how Gen Xers saw companies treat our parents! I hadn't considered this . . . probably because I grew up on a farm where such situations were simply out of my experience.

    My own experiences also are out of sync with Beudoin, but I think he still offers valuable insights into our generation. I was unfamiliar with many of his cultural references . . . many of his references about Gen Xers adolescence are from the time you and I would have been young adults, not thinking of adolescent cultural activities. But his insights helped me see what the younger GenXers experienced just a few years after we went through adolescence.

    I've heard about "The New Faithful" . . . just today in fact . . . and when I heard about the book, I immediately thought of you, so I smile to see you mention it here!

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  5. And YES . . . Watergate and Vietnam are early memories of mine, memories of adults being very concerned, disgruntled, speaking in hushed tones around children. I remember being sent out of the room during the nightly news because the news was too scary or unsettling for children. And you're right . . . it did make me wary of politics and the government from an early age!

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