Letting Go Defeatedly

Laundromat Attendant

And the change pressed her hard

in the middle like an

age-hardened collar

been left in the closet too long

to be crisp like the

spark that she was before duties and dimes and dust

of the laundry

dried the bundle of dreams

she carried so long

until dryer made dampness

crept into her visions

and driers and washers

folded her

days

in

to

their clothing.
                      -Me

May we attend to each other more than we attend to lesser details.

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

Looking for Something to Hold

More Than Flesh

Mortality takes

Dying for living as though

We weren’t born to

Die as if we

Don’t die to live

Winded by

Rushing now,

We gasp

To conceive inspiration

And often miss

Vision beyond sight

Language beyond speech

Oh, for still sense

of More

than blurred presence

of more that radiates

unseen

unheard

and more than

flesh.

                    -Me

So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn, and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth.-Hosea 6:3

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

Seeing Nothing to Hold

Stray One

Breathing summer nights

of endless stars and noisy silence

sighing a frenzied dance of stillness

homeless and loveless

an eternity from heaven

Once below a present time,

he might have

made a difference

had a purpose

an identity

But now,

air is his haunt

ground his rest

remains his unfill

Others stare through cares

not his

He knows his memory

dreams

past

reality

and hears a humming infinity in each moment

bound to earth

as a dog

             -Me

Prayers for eyes to see hope. . . for all of us.

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

What Do People Hold On To?

Imaginary Family Feud game show time again!

Yesterday, I asked you to imagine a game show question centered on what people let go of.

Today, our imaginary game show host voice asks: “What do people hold on to? Top Google search answers below:”

(Imagine answers revealing themselves one-at-a-time in some intriguing way.)

            -Parachute

            -Hat

            -Security

            -One’s Center/ One’s Self

            -Higher Power

            -Thread

            -Loved Ones

            -Job

            -Beliefs

            -Nothing in particular . . . just holding on

            -Information

            -Health

            -Money

I will definitely hold on to my parachute if my husband ever wears down my defenses and gets me to go skydiving, and I hold on to my hat if I’m ever wearing one and it’s trying to run off. I might say I’m hanging on by a thread sometimes. But I really wasn’t thinking of those kinds of things when I asked what people hold on to.

The other items on this list are certainly things that people (myself included) expend much energy and emotion clutching. Holding on to some things is hugely important. Other things really aren’t as important and probably shouldn’t be grasped as tightly as we might be doing.

And then, there are those things/people that we’ve never picked up to hold that we really should.

I’d love to hear what you’d add to our game show list above.

Knowing what to hold and what to release isn’t always as easy as I may have made it sound. Life decisions and actions can be confusing. The voices inside our heads and being thrown towards us from the outside are not unlike congressional bills, with all the special interest strings attached, whose urgings could result in us picking up or putting down things that we don’t want to change as we attempt to address the main decision of the moment.

Such moments of decision are darned good times for the famous Serenity Prayer.

You know, even though I’m guilty of saying it, upon reflection, “Just hold on . . . “ isn’t really good advice. It doesn’t even make sense. “Holding on,” by it’s very nature requires something to be held to. Holding to nothing . . . I think that’s about as far as the popular “just hold on” phrase gets us.

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

What Do People Let Go Of?

If I were smarter than I am and had more time than I do, I’d create an interactive Family Feud sort of board, complete with music for this next part. As it is, though, you’re all just going to have to imagine a glamorous game show setting with a silky-voiced host asking you . . .

“What do people let go of? Top Google search answers listed below:”

(I so wish these answers would reveal themselves one at a time with separate clicks!)

-A person

-Love

-The past

-Grudges

-Bitterness

-Something we’ve built

-Baggage

-Addictions

-Bad habits

If you were a contestant, would you have argued that additional answers should have been included? What would you have added?

I ran across a couple of simple articles from the popular media, psychological and medical worlds that offer some reasonable advice about letting go. If you’re in an unhealthy, hanging-on situation or if you’re struggling with forgiveness, I suggest taking a look at these pages to help you think through what you need to be doing:

Clues You Should Be Letting Go of Something

How Do You Let Go While You’re Hanging On?

Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness

 I figure most of us hit such times at least every now and then. And sometimes, releasing our grasp is one of the hardest but most important things we’ll ever do.

Right now, I need to let go of stress eating (again), so I’m going to work on that . . . sigh . . . and now since I said that so openly, I’m probably REALLY going to have to work on that; it’s just that I’ve had so much stress during the last year  . . . (See first two links above; I’m a classic, messed-up case. HA!) Yes, I laugh, but I seriously do need to work on stress eating. Stress and poor eating habits very much affect this body in bad ways and can shorten a quality lifespan.

I also need to let go of a few much bigger and harder things as well . . . and am working daily to do so.

If you are letting go or need to let go, I wish you wisdom, courage, strength and peace.

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

To Hold On? To Let Go?

Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” on the Sistine Chapel ceiling sucks me in, the whole painting and the vastness of the ceiling it looks down from, but mostly, that small space between the finger of God and the finger of Adam.

As the story goes, the image depicts the moment of creation. I’m absorbed by the image. I ponder, not the second of imparted life and breath, but the seconds before and afterward.

Adam and God stretch toward to each other, God giving life, Adam receiving life.

Did God pause, just before that touch? Did both pause just afterward? The painting is frozen, with Created and Creator forever not quite touching.

Consider the instant after breath flowed into man, after the startling intensity of that life-touch. Adam, to me, seems to be already pulling away, leaving God and man each with his own realization of the distance between them . . . so close but so separate.

I want them to hold on to each other, but maybe they have to let go? Can they do both at the same time?

This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com

I’m holding on . . . 12 months later.

So I return to the outpouring of words. Quite a season it has been! “Ode to the Red Bird Who Slams into Our Window” was certainly a strong symbolic theme throughout the year, and I had to sing that song of hope through unexpected and powerfully dark places.

When I started this blog, I wanted to carry out the GenX in Midlife theme. Now, I guess I’ll just continue living as a GenXer through midlife, let God carry on with what He started in me and those around me, and see what comes through words as I return to some regular writing. I think I’ll focus on HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO for a while this time around.

I thank God for being light, life, strength, refuge, song, and hope.

And I wish that darned bird would stop slamming into my window . . . he’s still going, 14 months later.

“I will sing about your strength; every morning I will sing aloud of your constant love. You have been a refuge for me, a shelter in my time of trouble. I will praise you, my defender. My refuge is God, the God who loves me.” –Psalm 59: 16-17


This blog post is part of a series of writing (May 31-June 2012) by Tammy Fletcher Bergland about holding on and letting go.   tbergland.blogspot.com